How do you deal with loss?

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How do you deal with loss?

Post by Taikira on Sat 05 Jul 2014, 22:07

I don't remember how long the effect of losing my grandmother took for me to "get over" as it was over twenty years ago. I barely remember her now which I kind of think is sad because I know when I lost her she was my favorite person.
Currently I'm struggling to deal with the loss of a pet bird. I think the only reason I used to get up in the morning was to see her and now it's much harder to get out of bed, especially when I've had a recent break down over her. I lost her back in mid-December of last year when she developed constant seizures(she couldn't eat or drink they were so bad). Her last night she spent crying at us, only stopping when one of us was holding her. There are no 24 hour bird vets in my area so we hoped the meds the vet prescribed would help(as soon as she had problems we went to the vet and got meds). Unfortunately soon after we got home she got WORSE and no vets were open. We tried putting her in a dark room hoping she'd be able to sleep and maybe improve but in the morning it was obvious the seizures didn't even let her do that. I still feel horrible about having her in the room alone when we could have at least been with her until the vet reopened. In the morning we took a taxi to the vet and were there about 5 minutes before opening.
So now I'm lost without my "baby" birdie. It's possibly hitting me so bad cause I already had depression issues. All I can do is "ride out" the crying spells at the moment and I was wondering how others deal with losing the people or pets they've bonded with.
Lucky: Day 2 photo LuckyDay2.jpg
Lucky on her second day with us (she was maybe a month old)
sorry for the bad res, was taken with dsi


Last edited by Taikira on Wed 09 Jul 2014, 18:04; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Fixed pic link)

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Re: How do you deal with loss?

Post by The_gh0stm4n on Sun 06 Jul 2014, 19:32

@Taikira wrote:I don't remember how long the effect of losing my grandmother took for me to "get over" as it was over twenty years ago. I barely remember her now which I kind of think is sad because I know when I lost her she was my favorite person.
Currently I'm struggling to deal with the loss of a pet bird. I think the only reason I used to get up in the morning was to see her and now it's much harder to get out of bed, especially when I've had a recent break down over her. I lost her back in mid-December of last year when she developed constant seizures(she couldn't eat or drink they were so bad). Her last night she spent crying at us, only stopping when one of us was holding her. There are no 24 hour bird vets in my area so we hoped the meds the vet prescribed would help(as soon as she had problems we went to the vet and got meds). Unfortunately soon after we got home she got WORSE and no vets were open. We tried putting her in a dark room hoping she'd be able to sleep and maybe improve but in the morning it was obvious the seizures didn't even let her do that. I still feel horrible about having her in the room alone when we could have at least been with her until the vet reopened. In the morning we took a taxi to the vet and were there about 5 minutes before opening.
So now I'm lost without my "baby" birdie. It's possibly hitting me so bad cause I already had depression issues. All I can do is "ride out" the crying spells at the moment and I was wondering how others deal with losing the people or pets they've bonded with.
Lucky: Day 2 photo LuckyDay2.jpg
Lucky on her second day with us (she was maybe a month old)
sorry for the bad res, was taken with dsi


Hello,


I'm sorry to hear about that. Sad  Well, I lost myself some cats, mostly because they got run over by cars, and one fatally injured himself by trying to climb over a neighbor's barn window, where the glass was broken. 

In the case of cats, they tend to hide themselves somewhere outside when they are injured, EVEN if they are still able to get home. This seems to be some sort of natural instinct...and by the time they DO get home, it's usually too late for a vet to do anything to help.

Not every person deals with things like that the same way, and each person is different too, in terms of how much time he/she needs to cope with loss. As for me, I try to keep in mind that life has to go on, sooner or later, and I try to get back to my daily routine. "Time heals wounds", so to speak, but the actual time that has to pass varies of course from case to case.

Also, for some people, it also makes a difference if they know some time in advance that a loved one will pass away soon. When my grandfather passed away ten years ago, it was clear in advance that he wouldn't be able to make it for too long - you didn't have to be a doctor to see that. At least that was the case with me, and it helped me get over it a bit quicker, since it was no "surprise".

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